Thursday, October 08, 2015

The Asthma Dilemma

So my breath is back after my misadventure yesterday.  I can still feel the crud in my chest.  I can still smell the mold and the dust inside my nose, but I can breathe.  Yeah, if I take a deep breath I can feel the crud.  I still get a little tight every few hours or so.  But at least now albuterol gives me the relief I so yearned during the attack.

I really have nothing else constructive to report, I just figured that after my post yesterday I ought to follow it up with an I-feel-better-post.  Okay, so, "I feel better."  

As I noted before, I do not feel sorry for myself.  However, that doesn't mean I don't get frustrated. It's kind of like in politics.  When liberals get their way some conservatives get depressed.  Or when conservatives get their way, some liberals get depressed.  I don't get depressed.  I get mad.  I get angry.  But I don't get depressed about that kind of stuff; stuff you have no control over.  That's how it is when my asthma is acting up.  I don't get depressed about it.  I don't develop a "Oh, woah is me" complex.  I get mad, if I react at all.

Actually, I'm pretty adept at dealing with asthma attacks.  I'm pretty adept at preventing them too.  I know if I don't go around my triggers I can live a relatively normal life with it.  The intervals between episodes can be very long if I avoid my triggers.  The problem lies in the fact that there are things I want to do, love to do, that I know I can't.  

Let me provide an example. Let's say I am a character in a book.  Usually, a chapter goes like this. 
  • Want.  The character wants something
  • Obstacle. Something stands in the way, either physical or psychological.
  • Action. The character does something to try to get around the obstacle.
  • Resolution. The character succeeds or does not succeed.  
So this is me in chapter 555 of my life.
  • Want.  A clean and organized basement
  • Obstacle.  Dust and mold on nearly everything in the basement.  No one else knows what I want done.  No one else is willing to do the work. 
  • Action.  I know I can do it.  So I move the boxes and organizes things the way I want. 
  • Resolution.  Task complete.  Asthma attack is the result.  So that's the cliffhanger, and the reason to read the next chapter. 
Now we are in chapter 556 of my life.
  • Want.  To breathe normal again.
  • Obstacle. My airways are inflamed and I don't seem to get immediate relief from medicine.
  • Action.  To wait it out. To try to find things to occupy my mind with until my breath comes back.  I watch a movie.  I also take albuterol, lots of it.  I take 2-3 benadryl.  I drink a few beers to take the edge off the dyspnea.  
  • Resolution.  My breath comes back slowly over time.  By 2 a.m. I am comfortable enough. I fall asleep.
So now what do I do. You see, that's a dilemma.  My baseball cards are in the basement.  My weights are in the basement.  Do I dare go back down there.  You see, chapter 557 is set up nicely here. You see, I'm frustrated.  

And then there's the frustration of what to do to fix the basement so I can breathe down there.  You see, do I just deal with it.  Or do I try to convince people who don't have asthma, who don't know what it's like, that I need to allergy proof it.  To me this is important. But to people who don't have asthma, it's not important. That's what you call an asthma dilemma.

The asthma dilemma is how you deal with it.  The asthma dilemma is how you deal with how others react, or, more likely, don't react to it.

How do you do the things you enjoy when you know doing them triggers an asthma attack, at least if what you want to do (baseball cards, workout) are in the basement you are allergic to.  The dilemma is how you convince others that money needs to be spend allergy proofing the  basement, or buying an allergy proof house. That's the asthma dilemma. 

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